Wednesday, August 6, 2008
It worked! I posted a comment. I didn't do anything different. my computer is just in a better mood. Gee, if i would have known it was going to go through, i would have been more prolific. I, however don't feel as well as my computer. My fibro is bad today. Real bad. I can hardly move. Navigating my stairs takes a while. But nothing can dampen my spirits from a computer that is working well. Isn't that weird? It takes so little to make me happy. Thats reminds me of my dream, which was so emotional. O.K. everyone take a break. Noone likes to hear someone elses dreams. But, I think this is what blogging is for. So here it is. Kim was getting ready to go to some kind of Amway party. It was something that was suppose to make her rich. Even tho she didn't really buy it she was going anyway. I was upset with her cuz I didn't think it was important enough for me to babysit for. I said " maybe i want to go out". She's like "Right. Where are you gonna go?" I just starting crying saying I didnt know I just wanted to find someone to hold me. I havent been hugged or held by a man for so long I was just jonesing for some body contact. I woke up feeling like i had been sobbing. It was a dream but unfortunately it is quite true. There is a guy at my moms nursing home that keeps bugging me to go out but he's an alcoholic and just wants to get laid. But I do go up to him and get him to hug me for body contact. It actually helps my pain. But as desparate as I am for companionship, I can't let it happen with just anyone. It's just too complicated. If the right guy comes along, then I will be blessed. God, this sounds like I'm some kind of snob. It's not that. There is a lot of fear involved. I need a guy who makes me feel so comfortable that fear won't be an issue. I have to feel a connection. Oh well its all just part of the human dilemma. The computer is acting like I've been here too long and I'm pushing my luck so I'd better go. Everyone have a great day.