let it be

a brand new baby

P.S. Congratulations, Jessica! I can't wait to see that baby. I hope you are getting some help so you can get a couple of hours of sleep a night. Oh how I remember when Sadie was a brand new baby and didn't believe in sleep unless she was being held. She also had a problem pooping. Sometimes went a week without then one day would just fill that diaper. This made for some misery and a lot of crying. Happy to report that is no longer a problem.

So, enjoy your time together, snuggle often, a hand him off whenever possible.
Welcome to the world, Bobby. I hope you can make it a better place.

got my fix

Kim , Sadie and I went garage sailing on Saturday. I scored big. The first one I picked up an audacious victorian lamp shade. It was too big to fit in Kims trunk. Then we went to a place that was there just for me. There were bolts of brightly colored fabrics and patterns and a pair of orange shoes that were like high top commerce with beads and embroidery I had to have (50 cents!) I got about $400 worth of fabric for $40. My my heart was pounding so fast I thought I'd have a heart attack. My hands were shaking as I offered her an amount that was clearly criminal. She seemed satisfied and even threw in some stuff for free.
I am having a very intimate Labor day dinner for 5 1/2 people. It 'll be a mini thanksgiving. Kim is keeping an eye on me lest I invite 30 people and turn it into a huge shindig. She has seen a small soiree elevate to mass proportions before. And of course, whether its a barbque or Christmas, everyone knows that I disappear after dinner to go to bed.
OMG. Obama is coming to Detroit today. He's safe as a kitten.

I Haven't Got Time For The Pain

The blog tried to publish itself prematurely.
I thought I'd try to feel better by blogging. Right now I'm in a lot of pain and I don't want to be. I wake up every morning with this preconceived idea of how I'd like my day to go and it never includes pain. Which is odd because I know to expect it. I guess I'm still in denial. I mean, some days are better than others. Since I don't seem to be able to think my way out of this I decided to use an old tool call a Gratitude List.
1. I have a big bath towel that Kim gave me that makes taking a shower alot better.
(ok, how do I stop the italics?)
2. The guy at the nursing home and a guy in Florida that say they want to marry me in spite of "the curse".
3. when Sadie puts her head on my shoulder
4. Appreciation.
5. Shows that make me laugh, like Funniest Pets and People and Everybody Loves Raymond.
6. A really good book or movie.
7. Days when I get up and I weigh less than I thought. (rare these days)
8. Family and friends
9. Plants and flowers that respond well to my attention.
10.A really good sex dream.
And my #11 favorite thing? A nap! That is where I'm headed until the drugs kick in:).
Hey, the italics are gone.

Oh, here's my "boo hoo" for the day. I'm going through Sadies clothes yet again and taking out the ones she's outgrown. Damn! She's barely worn them--including shoes. I tend to mourn all her cute little clothes. Maybe a boy would have been better. NOT!

I Haven't Got

ghost in the machine

that's right, the frickin thing doesn't answer to anybody; not even kim. She tried everything she knew and this little unassuming monster has decided to try and cut me off again. As it stand, i can't comment, or most times even open your blogs. I hafta go buy mom some underwear cuz i keep throwing hers out when i do her laundry. Use youe imagination. sorry. I offer it up to god.

sixteen candles

I watched sixteen candles last night for the 20th time. I know it's a flaky eighties movie but its one of those flicks I feel safe with, like an old friend. I'm not going to get scared or grossed out or have nightmares; except for the one about my own sixteenth birthday. The other reason why I like the movie is because I identify with it. Yes, my family forgot THE most important birthday of my life. My father had died 15 months earlier and he was the one who would have remembered. My mother was in Florida for some reason and I was left with 3 older brothers to whom I was either here nor there at the time. I told my girlfriend about it as we were walking to school. Luckily she had planned ahead and a few of my friends gave me a cupcake with a candle in it at lunchtime, in the cafeteria. A little humiliating. Later that evening, my brother Don said, "Hey, why don't you do the dishes?" My mother had been gone a few days so the sink was overflowing. I gave him my best pout and said "It's my birthday." "Oh,Oh, God! he says, "That's ok. You don't have to do them. And, here's 20 bucks. (As he sheepishly snickers). I say, "Forget it!" And then he begs me, apologizing. I finally take it (all the time knowing I was going to. 20 bucks then was alot). He must have called my mom cuz she called later that night and said she had a present for me in her dresser drawer. I go look and it was one of those really pathetic transisters that only played 2 am stations if you clipped the antennae wire to the metal windowsill. It wasn't wrapped so I knew it was a save. I made light of it because, afterall, it was just one more episode in the Dysfunctional Family Circus. To this day she still doesn't remember my birthday, March 6, until it starts getting toward the end of the month cuz hers is March 30 and she doesn't let us forget that.