pressure

Song for the day "Pressure" by Billy Joel. I really like the idea of "the Blog". But now I'm informed by fellow bloggers that I must visit the space a lot more to read and blog. I am so far behind in my life. I really need to figure out how to shut things off in my head. I'm sure someone will relate to this. Now, I am sorry about the following; but this is more for me to vent. It will be really boring to anyone else. I won't be offended if u just leave....go ahead, leave. It's ok. ....R u still here? Doesn't that seem like the end of Ferris Bueller? See how my head is all over the place. So Andrea is picking me up at 5 so we can go to dinner. I have to get in the shower. I can already feel the wheel of fear starting;. I try never to leave my house. I am a recovering agoraphobic among other things. I seem to be relapsing somewhat in the past couple of months. I have to be out of diet coke or cigs to force me out. Once I get out it really isn't too bad. It's actually imaginging going out the door and getting in the car. I have a physical reaction. So my list of things to do in no particular order--only as it comes up in my mind.:
Get my mothers wireless headphones up and running. I've only been working on this since christmas.
Fill out that damn spending incentive paperwork for my mother and myself.
Send thank you notes for Sadies birthday. Woops-I think that ship has sailed. Time just takes care of some crap. Except now everyone thinks my daughter is an ungrateful present monger.
I took responsibility for doing that cuz I thought I should. Kim told me to forget it. I put that pressure on myself.
Watch a movie kim gave me.
Listen and watch dvd on Jeff Buckley that Jesse loaned me. I want to. I really really do.
Send away for my mothers hearing aid batteries so I dont have to keep buying them.
Go apply for state medical again. Oh god, just the thought of that.
take my cat to the vet to get her shaved for summer. I think that one will go by the wayside too.
take back some stuff to several stores before its too late
Find the recpt's for said stuff.
actually, that might be all for now. I know there's more but I can't think right now. So it isnt as bad as I thought. These are all just things I dont want to do. Oh, the other things are. like, check out My space and the blog space and now The rock star thing jesse signed me up on.
I need a nap.xxxoooo I have obsessive compulsive disorder with an avoidant personality. :)

how not to go garage sailing

Kim and Sadie are out happily hitting the yards while I am banished to my room because I don't feel good. I have a UTI--which is Utter Total Inconvenience. Plus I didn't get much sleep last night which began with Sadie's midnight madness. After that I just kept waking up for various reasons. this is not going to be at all interesting because I don't feel interesting. Kim said the motorcycle is back on the street. I saw it yesterday and figured I have to choose between teeth and a bike. By looking at a lot of bikers you can tell they chose the bike. But Kim might get the number anyway. What can it hurt?

Kim informed me yesterday that I my writing ran together and I need to make use of paragraphs. Where was this concern about gramatical construction when you were in high school?!

I'm going to take a nap and dream I am riding a Harley. xxxooo

my first blog, ever.

whatever runs around in my head all day is much better off in a blog. I have really prize winning stories i create that just go on and on. Especially if I've got tension going on with someone. I say all the things I should have said or plan to say. Of course it never comes to pass because at the moment i open my mouth I fog over. But boy can I win a lot of arguments in my head. So my plan for today was to look for stuff to take over to angies for a yard sale. I had to go to my attic space ("my attic space" would have been a good blog title for my blog space)to retrieve saleable items only to discover that I need to straighten it out. So I begin to pull everything out but run out of room in my room. I can make more room if I take the laundry downstairs, which now I realise I need to do laundry for everyone. While I get that all lined up in the kitchen for basement transport I start to clean up in the kitchen. Its also time to feed the cats their "good food". And now there is a terrible odor going through the house/definately sulfur--like the sewer is ready to back up. It is sooo strong. Jesse has his shirt pulled up over his nose so he can stay on the computer. The toilets are bubbling, the sink is gurgling, the drain in the basement sounds foreboding. I call the plumber immediately(we are on a first name basis with these people) but they cant come til tomorrow morning. I call Kim to tell her we have to move right now. She suggests I call the city to ask if someone is playing around somewhere in the area. I got the answering machine and left a message. Who is in charge here?! I Need Help Now! We thing it smells a little better now (an hour later) but I think we are just getting used to it. Back to now. I set up my blog page which everybody seems to belong to but me. That was a challenge in itself. I'm old. I'm like my mom when I tried to get her to use a vcr 30 years ago but she couldn't handle it. Also I have joined Jesse's mafia mob, for what its worth. I hate when my page just disappears, don't you? Well, its almost time to start dinner AND the kitchen isn't clean, the attic isn't straight, the clothes havent been washed, I havent heard back from the city, my room is piled with stuff and I'm tired. This is pretty much a normal day. And now that i must blog, there will be a lot more things I won't get around to. Cuz after all, I'm in the mafia now. The Chrisco Kid.